31DBBB Day 21: Update an old post: We're moving!

Today's task is to update an old post I wrote in the past.

That is pretty easy for me today, since for reasons alluded too in a few key posts, I am officially in "prepare for relocation" hell right now. I have held out blogging about it, since it has taken over my world and I didn't want to start obessessing about it here as well. Yes, it is that bad. I haven't even been getting into lab regularly these days. Instead I am painting, staging, cleaning, rearranging.. waiting for the carpet guy, the window guy, the landscape guy, the plumber.. you name it. It is all I am living and breathing.

So that brings me back to today's task: Updating an old post.

Back on Feb 15 I officially announced LabDad was moving out of academia into an industry job. This also means we need to relocate to a new large city nearly 1000 miles away. I haven't said much about what that means for me. It is a huge deal, but I am actually really looking forward to the change. I love my position right now. BossLady and The Crew are wonderful, but the lab is evolving and I am ready to try something new.

I will begin training my replacement on Monday, and I think she will be pretty easy to work with. I hope to be completely done with lab by the first week of April. I have begun writing up my last three manuscripts which I have complete data for, but I will leave a bunch of half finished work for whoever wants to bang their head with it. I have started perusing the job listings in our new town, but I have decided to hold off applying until:

1) I know where we will live (I want to factor in commute times)
2) I know when we will move into our new house (since I can't handle two kids and moving AND working)
3) I get daycare lined up
4) I decide if I want to stay in Physiology or go back to my Cell Biology roots.
5) I see how it is living on LabDad's salary alone. (I am considering a part-time option, but I need to see how that will shape up finance wise)

Based on my skill set and experience and the volume of job openings in the area, I am actually not too worried about finding a new job. I am going to be pretty choosy, since I know what I am hoping to get out of my job and it isn't to be someone's spoon-fed tech. Fortunately I have lots of options, so I am going to take my time and wait for a good match.

Now, if I could just get my house together and on the market I would be a much happier girl. I am ready to start the house-hunting phase, and we can't do that until we get rid of ours first.

31DBBB Day 20: Comment on other blogs

The title says it all. Although I have been actively reading my blogroll, today I will go out of my way to leave some comments.

I always feel a little like a fraud when I leave comments though, since I always think what I have to say is uninteresting. At least today I get to blame it on my blog building exercise.

31DBBB Day 19: Vaxxing: Here is my opinion.

Today's goal is to write a post that revolves around my opinion. Oh how fun! Since I know you all give a damn what I think about things.

I pondered the topic and I decided that if I am going to share my POV about something, I would go for broke and pick something that is highly controversial, yet I clearly fall on one side of. So today I'm going to spout off about childhood vaccinations.

I am a vaxxer. My kids have all followed the AAP/CDC guidelines for their immunizations and I never have doubted my decision or even really thought twice about it. That isn't to say I haven't heard from the opposition. I do run in plenty of mommy circles with large numbers of parents who choose to delay, selectively vax or completely not vax their children. I think that the vast majority do it out of fear (which I think is a BAD reason for doing anything) but that is their choice. I hold no grudge against those people. Do I resent them since they are undermining the herd immunity? No. Do I feel sympathetic towards them? Yes. I have come to realize that they are just scared of the unknown, and are truly doing what they think is best. They feel they are informed, but there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Who am I angry at? The people doing the misinforming. It burns my bacon is when a group promotes themselves as "educational" while running an anti-vax agenda and skews the data that is out there. Like I said, I don't personally care what any individual does, but I disdain pseduo-science scare campaigns. I am all for giving people the facts, but don't you dare call yourself a "Vaccine Information Center" when you don't give out ALL the information.

And since the point of this post is to share my opinion, I am going to tackle the issues behind why I am not afraid to vaccinate my children. I do realize that there are many arguments against vaxxing and they are constantly changing so I can only touch on the highlights.

#1: The autism myth.
Um yeah. This is my least favorite. Especially the MMR/thimersol spin. It is abundantly clear to anyone with a few brain cells to rub together that the mercury argument is dead. The original Wakefield study (published in Lancet and FINALLY retracted just last month) is probably one of most highly disproven articles of all time. The sheer volume of spin-off research over the past 12 years is astonishing. If anyone could repeat those findings, we would have heard about it. But that just hasn't happened. Study after study has never shown any sort of causative effect, and even if you lower your standards and consider only correlation there is still nothing that backs up this argument.

I want to step back and state for the record that I in no way want to minimize autism. I know that it is a heart wrenching disease that truly does affect many many children and families, but I for one want to focus research on what is actually going on, and stop making vaccines the scapegoat (now that Hg fell out of favor, it is time to move on to the latest culprit: Aluminum). It is all a big red herring and every dollar spent rehashing these same arguments is a dollar wasted, instead of using that money to find some real answers.

#2: The our children have "vaccine overload" myth.
I often hear parents lament about the sheer number of childhood vaccines that children are receiving today. And it is true, the number of physical injections has increased over the past 50 years. (Some critics say vaccination rates have increased by as much as 260% going from 11 to 36 injections in the past 25 years, although this is a bit of a stretch. Realistically the average child in 2007 only received 20 injections by age two, which is up from 5 injections back in 1980.)
However, in actuality the vaccines given today actually contain fewer antigens than those given back in the 80s (~125 bacterial/viral proteins or polysaccharides vs. ~3040 in 1980.) Which is nothing when you consider how large an antigen load an infant's immune system handle. It has been theorized that the immune system can handle as many as 10^9 - 10^11 (10,000,000,000-1,000,000,000,000) antigen specificities. The current vaccines being administered are only using 0.1% of an infants immune system (more of their immune system is challenged when they are infected with common cold viruses.) Too many vaxxes isn't a problem.

#3: The Vaccine Production Myth: "Vaccines are made from monkey kidneys and baby hamsters"
I am not even going to validate this argument. It isn't worth the keystrokes. To twist the way vaccine production works is just another fear tactic. If that grosses you out, I suggest you stop ingesting "potential chicken fetuses" and "pig ass muscle" (bacon and eggs) since it it just as nasty sounding when you put it that way.

#4: The risk of the side effects are greater than the risk of the disease myth.
This argument comes up again and again, especially with new to market vaccines (H1N1 and Gardasil come to mind.) When people talk about how small the risk of getting a disease is and use that as a reason to skip the vax, they are only talking about the risk at this moment in time. It is clear we have seen increases in the numbers of cases of Measles, Mumps and Pertussis (up 25 fold) since the late 90s, when fearful parents stopped vaccinating their children. At that time the risk of any of these diseases (in the United States) was very truly low and most people had not experienced or witnessed outbreaks, which created a false sense of security. But the truth was that the risks were only low because our parents vaccinated us.

Since we have been living with herd immunity for so long now, it sometimes can feel like the chances of getting any of these diseases is minuscule. But that is all due to a sheltered perspective. How quickly society forgets. If you were to head over to a non-industrialized country, where people have seen these diseases and what they can do, you also will see the fear. Those people would jump at the chance to vaccinate their children, since they know it could be life vs. death. And even taking into account the risks of vaccination in a low disease risk environment, it is still an easy cost-benefit analysis.

The WHO reports less than a dozen deaths for every million vaccinations, less than 1%. Compare that to the 1.5 million PREVENTABLE vaccine deaths that occur every year and it is a no brainer especially considering that disease outbreaks are much more likely to occur in non-vaxxed populations. By not vaccinating you are actually self-selecting for risk. (This isn't to say that vaxxes are the answer to curing the world's diseases, since you can still get sick, even in highly vaccinated communities, but the chances are much smaller.)
So it all comes down to playing the odds, and at least for now, as the majority of people vacinate the odds are pretty good, but as more and more people don't vaccinate, the odds start to slip away from your favor. And unfortunately, those people who skipped the vaccine are going to be the first ones who have to face the disease. Maybe they should talk to the parents who lost their unvaccinated infant to Hib last year, since I am sure they never thought it would happen to them either.

So there you have it. My opinion. You can take it for what it is worth.

31DBBB Day 17: Create a Sneeze Page

A sneeze page is a page which features the highlights of my blog. It is supposed to contain a list of my "best" posts, posts grouped by theme, posts with the biggest responses etc. What I would want a new person to read.

I don't know if I have ever posted anything so important that I would need to feature it, but I will still do this task in my own half-assed way. I am just going to select the posts that I personally like the most, even though they are pretty random and don't have anything in common.

So, with no further ado.. In case you missed them the first time, here are my top 5 favorite posts (so far):

Who am I and why am I blogging?
My vent on my idiot postdoc coworkers
Super cool genome quilts
Super cool science cookies
My advice to ScienceGirl

The dreaded third rotation

The students in our program are supposed to be lining up their third (and final) rotations this week. This is where the rubber meets the road since this will be the last chance for them to find a lab home. A few of the them are pretty much freaking out since for whatever reason their first two rotations didn't work out and that means that this is their last chance of finding a good fit, it is whatever lab they choose now, or nothing. The pressure is on.

The third rotation is also a tough one since all the "good" labs have been snapped up by students in the first two rotations, so desperation is starting to set in for those people who haven't found their match. They have to choose a lab that will not only let them rotate, but let them stay after the rotation is over. That is a big commitment.

So what we end up with is a big dicotomy. Students who are freaking out since they need someone, anyone, to accept them, and then we have those students who are just coasting since they have already decided which lab to join. For them this is a throw-away rotation, just for kicks.

The huge difference in these two attitudes is actually pretty significant. Your rotations, and subsequently how you decide on a lab, sets the tone for your entire graduate career. It sucks for those kids who still haven't figured out what they are doing by rotation three. It is like starting off on a shaky foundation, while the kids who have it all figured out already have an advantage. In the long run it usually balances out, but I would be curious to see how many of the students who don't make it thru the program are the desperate rotaters.. I would bet diamonds to donuts it is the majority.

31DBBB Day 17: Ask a new reader about my blog

Today's task is to ask a new reader to give me feedback about my blog. What they like, what they want to see, blah blah blah. Here are some sample questions:

• What were their first impressions?
• What did they first think your blog was about when they arrived at it?
• Did they find it easy to read/navigate/understand?
• What did they ‘feel’ when they first arrived at your blog?
• What suggestions do they have on how you could improve your blog?
• What questions do they have having surfed your blog?
• What words would they use to describe the design?
• What are the main things that they remember about your blog 10 minutes later?
• What suggestions do they have from a user perspective?

I do think that this is probably a really informative exercise, but I am aware that everyone's opinion is going to be slightly different depending on what your interests are. However, if you are a new reader here, and if you want to share your feedback, please feel free to email me. labmomsblog@gmail.com

I would love to hear what you think!

31DBBB Day 16: Solve a Problem (Or "What NOT to Microwave")

I have fallen off the 31 days to a building a better blog bandwagon because I have been fighting a cold the plague for over a week now.

However, tonite I will pick up where I left off. Day 16's task is to solve a problem for my readers. Hmm.. Coming up with solutions is tough, especially since if you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate.

Okay, time to get serious. On to a big problem that impacts all of our lives..

The top 5 things you should NEVER cook in the shared microwave:

1) Popcorn, especially if you don't have the ability to make it without burning it. There will always be people who just hate the smell of microwave popcorn, even if it is cooked correctly. Additionally, even the people love the smell of microwave popcorn will not look at you fondly when you are taking a break to munch on your afternoon snack, while they have to just live vicariously through the smell. It is a no win situation.

2) Seafood of any kind. First off, seafood doesn't really reheat well in a microwave anyhow, so you shouldn't be nuking it in the first place. However, if you are willing to tolerate rubbery seafood then the resulting overwhelming fish stench that comes off it is a surefire way of aggregating anyone who is within a 200 yard radius of the microwave. If you are really jonesing for some fish, try Sushi.

3) Anything that has the potential to explode during reheating. It is bad enough that we all have to enjoy the odor that comes off of your meal, but at least that is transient. Little splatters of your cuisine will last indefinitely on the sides and top of the microwave, they NEVER go away. If you aren't sure if something you are heating will blow up, please at least cover it with a paper towel.

4) Other people's food. There is a special place in hell for lunch thieves, espeically those with the cajones to microwave their spoils.

5) Hot pockets. Just because that is pathetic.

Jim Gaffigan and Hot Pockets! - watch more funny videos

Glad I could help!

Motherhood: Handicapping your science career

I am fascinated by this article over at The Chronicle of Higher Education. It is eye opening, but if you are an academic mother, or are considering motherhood, it is actually quite grim. The author, Amy Kittelstrom, doesn't pull any punches.

She argues that in the spirit of equality, academic mothers and fathers are treated the same when it comes to having their jobs protected or being promoted based on merit . The problem is that biologically they are not the same and the differences in their contributions as care-givers will dramatically skew their careers.

If a woman wants to get hired as an assistant professor, she is much less likely to succeed if she is a mother. But fathers are actually much more likely to land a position and achieve tenure, even more likely than childless men.

Most academic mothers get stuck in what Mason calls the "second tier"—the low-pay, low-security, low-status, and zero-opportunity part-time and adjunct positions that now constitute a majority of college teaching. Female Ph.D.'s with children are more than twice as likely as men with children to work in this second tier.

It comes down to the ugly truth: During childbearing and child rearing years, women are just not as productive as their childless counterparts. There just aren't enough hours in the day! (And any working mother will tell you there will always be days that you feel like that is definitely true.)

But women during the years—years!—between planning for conception and weaning really are professionally inferior to men. Yes, I wrote inferior—simply unable to work as hard, as long, or as well as childless professors or academic fathers.

So what is the answer since you cannot force mothers to be more productive during this (albeit short) period in their careers? Her suggestion: TALK ABOUT IT. Acknowledge that motherhood is important but that it does have a negative career impact. Bascially be willing to cut working moms a break.

There will always be responsibilities of mothers which must be accommodated (think pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding) since they will always fall on a woman's shoulders. Therefore to truly level the playing field we cannot treat everyone equally, since we aren't equal. Along with their latest manuscripts, mothers are also busy creating and nurturing other human beings, something that should be celebrated and honored.

Unfortunately, right now there is a shroud of silence where everyone pretends that motherhood is already being dealt with fairly. Clearly a 12 week maternity leave and tenure clock stoppage is able to adjust for the impact motherhood, since after 12 weeks life must surely go "back to normal." It is really ridiculous when you consider that notion, but nobody is willing to say it out loud.

Now, are there exceptions to this gender generalization (like stay at home fathers, single parents etc)? Sure. And in a perfect world fathers and mothers would contribute equally, but this isn't a perfect world, it is reality. It is still very typical that the female head of household is more heavily responsible for all the tasks associated with child rearing, just like it was 30 years ago. And are there other situations that could result in similar circumstances where productivity is hurt for important personal reasons (caring for an elderly parent, battling a life threatening disease etc)? Of course. But the idea is that there must first be dialogue, or else things never going to change and mothers will continue to be handicapped in their science careers.

LabMom takes on the Lab Food Fridge

When I go back in on Monday I have to face the Lab Food Fridge. You know the one I am talking about. The one refrigerator which isn't labeled "No food or ice for human consumption." The one filled with year old condiments and mystery tupperware. The place that lunches go to die.

Yes, tomorrow is the day I am going to take one for the team and clean out that sucker. I may have to don full haz-mat gear before doing so, since I am pretty sure I recognize at least one or two containers in there from our last graduate student (who defended back in July 2009.)

In our lab, we actually don't have a full sized Food Fridge, but instead have one of those little dorm sized ones. The added headache with our setup, is that it has the little built in freezer which is actually useless as a freezer, and at this point in time has instead become a solid block of ice with an antique tv dinner permanently petrified inside. That will be a bitch to get out. Yay!

On a related note, we are actually pretty lucky that our lab doesn't have to share our fridge with anyone else. When you only have a limited list of people who are going in and out of the fridge, the chances of lunch theft stays relatively low, and we have therefore avoided anything like this:

Which begs the question: Who is so hard up that they are stealing hot pockets? That is just pitiful!

Sick Days: The balancing act

I have been out of lab now for 4 days. On days 1-2 it was a no brainer.. I was delusional, with an 104 degree fever, hacking cough, and couldn't even stand up, let alone drag my butt into lab.

But days 3-4 were harder to make the call. Everyone says they don't want sick people to come to work and infect their coworkers, but it also is frowned upon to miss day after day of work because you are nursing the sniffles. Now, to be fair, I still had a fever on days 3-4, so I was pretty confident that nobody would have wanted me around, but it is getting to the point that I have to go back to work soon or else the Crew will start disbelieving I am actually sick. (Although they can rest assured I am not sitting around all day watching the Olympics. This virus is kicking my butt.)

I also have the added caveat that I actually don't have any sick days left, I used all of them up (and them some) during my maternity leave, which means officially on paper I have to make these up somehow.

Sigh.

Hopefully tomorrow will not be day 5.

Are you happy or are you interesting?

The Brazen Careerest put up an interesting post about how life is a balance of "happy" vs. "interesting" but you can only be one at the sacrifice of the other.

The culmination of my four-year obsession with happiness research is that I think people need to choose between an interesting life or happy life.

She even put up a short test so you could figure out what side of the fence you fell on. I don't know if I completely agree with her concept, since I disagree that they are mutually exclusive, even by her definition.

I think the things that make life happy have to do with complacency, and the things that make life interesting have to do with lack of complacency.

There is a big difference between happy and apathetic. I also think the questions she asks and the scoring system she uses are definitely biased so that scientists will come across as far more interesting than happy. Which I suppose you could argue is actually true. (She factors in things like relocation, religion and diversity.)

But I took the test anyhow.

I scored a 2 (maybe a 3 if I consider her test BS) which means I am well balanced maybe even leaning towards happy, but I am pretty sure I'm not a typical scientist. And to be happy I would have to consider her test BS, which makes this all a moot point now doesn't it?

Big Pharma HERE WE COME!

It is official! LabDad signed the contract last week. We are moving on.

I too will have to find a new gig, but for the moment I am going to sit back and enjoy the good life. We have already seen the big difference between industry and academia. Our relocation package alone is more than LabDad's postdoc salary for an entire year. Plus the benefits package and miscellaneous perks are phenomenal. LabDad is currently at a well endowed private institution, not a public university, and so we thought his bennies weren't half bad. We were wrong.

It is interesting how your best laid plans can change. When we started this journey the goal was always a tenure track position as some major university. But no more. That career path has completely lost its appeal and when this large pharm company made us an offer we couldn't refuse, well, we didn't refuse.

Chances are I will stay in academia, mostly for the flexibility and because my area of expertise is much more basic science in nature, and so we won't forget how the other half lives. Think I'm exaggerating? Check out this statistic:

Courtesy of PhD Comics



EDITED February 28: CHECK OUT THE UPDATE ABOUT OUR MOVE!

31DBBB Day 15: Find a blog buddy

I really do know how to count. And yes, I still have to do Day 13's task, however for the past 48 hours I have been sick in bed with a lovely illness that the peanut brought home from daycare, so it just isn't happening.

Instead I will focus on the latest goal: Finding blog buddies.

Fortunately for me, I know lots of mommybloggers in real life and have been able to get inspiration and support from them. I also recently joined our local modern quilt guild. (If you haven't heard of MQGs, check it out. It isn't your grandma's guild.) Many many members are bloggers, and having the ability to read their blogs and then also meet up with them in real life is a wonderful opportunity.

31DBBB Day 13(14): Cleaning house

I am reversing Day 13 and Day 14's tasks. Tomorrow when you actually see Day 13, you will understand why.
(Teaser: I actually have to physically do something, and anyone who knows me knows that I would do pretty much anything to avoid physical activity!)

Instead, for Day 14 I am supposed to update my blog, to make sure things are fresh and current. Basically a clean up day.

You probably won't notice, but I have added some additional blogs to my blogroll, and updated my kids' ages. I also am going to go through and make sure all the posts have the correct labels.

There are worse things than not getting tenure

Like murdering people because you didn't get tenure.

It saddens me to think that Dr. Bishop was so upset by the denial of her tenure that she was able to rationalize the idea of killing her colleges. It is evidence of her complete loss of perspective. We are only talking about tenure.

Yes, I can understand how devastating it must have been for her, especially if she truly felt she was being treated unfairly, however in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't even compare to the level of devastation that is now burdened on the families of her victims.

Their hearts are irreparably damaged, and unlike a tenureless academic career, they can never recover.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those people who were lost, and to their friends, family and the entire U of A community. It is a very sad day.

Adriel D. Johnson Sr.


Maria Ragland Davis


G. K. Podila

31DBBB Day 12: Develop an editorial calendar

Oh HELL NO! I am not scheduling out my posts into the future. That takes the fun out of this whole blogging thing.

Forget that. I'll take a zero on this assignment.

31DBBB Day11: Generating Post Ideas

So I am a tad behind. I didn't get to Day 11's task yesterday, but it is a biggie: Come up with 10 new post topics, (an exercise to help overcome writers block).

I tend to just blog about what is going on the moment I am writing. I don't really have a list of topics that I plan on writing about. I guess it is time to make one.

The brainstorming methodology for this task is based on mind-mapping. Since I didn't want to go find a pen and paper to do an actual written mind map, I googled for some free online software and came up with bubbl. It didn't require a download or to setup an account, which works for me.

So, focusing on the three big aspects I have previously blogged about, I came up with this extrememly simple mind-map.

You can click on it for an expanded view where you can actually read it!

Looking at the way I have expanded out, I could quickly generate 10 post topics. (Not that I really ever will blog about these things, but to explain the concept of how this is supposed to work)

1) LabMom needs a home: Academia vs. Industry
2) 2010: A quilt odyssey. (My dream to finish all those UFOs)
3) Pros and cons of using a housekeeper
4) "Modern" Quilting vs. Keeping it Old School
5) Alternate Career Paths in Science
6) Balancing a 2 scientist family
7) On pins and needles: Hand vs. Machine Quilting
8) Friendships after motherhood
9) My top 10 'go-to' meals in under 30 minutes
10) Get it together! Piecing vs. Applique

Don't those sound interesting? Well, stay tuned, maybe one day I'll actually blog about them.

Preparing for Motherhood: Five things I wish I knew then

ScienceGirl at Curiosity Killed the Cat is having her first baby and EcoGeoFemme is organizing a virtual baby shower for her. And although I am new to the bloggy village, I am a mom and a scientist so I thought I would offer up some advice.

Here are the top 5 things I wished someone had told me back when I had my first daughter:

1) You know more that you think you know. Remember there is no one way to be a perfect mother but there are thousands of ways to be a great one. If someone offers their opinion and/or criticism and you don't agree with them, trust your instincts. They may not be wrong, but that doesn't mean what worked for them will work for you and it doesn't mean your way isn't also correct. Worrying doesn't make you a better mom, it only makes you anxious.

2) There is no martyrdom in mommyhood. There is no point in beating yourself up over things you cannot control. That period of time from the end of your pregnancy through the early days with a newborn is going to take its toll, and if you need to take time away from your work you shouldn't feel guilty about it. There are no prizes for being in lab the minute your water breaks and nobody is going to pat you on the back for returning to the bench three days after delivery. The truth is they probably won't even notice. So don't bother trying to please everyone and then feeling resentful or angry about having to do so. You have the right to say 'no' when your PI calls about that manuscript at 1 week post-partum. Don't say yes out of a sense of obligation, that will only leave you feeling like a victim. Instead remember we are our own worst critics. People will be willing to cut you some slack if you just ask. And asking for help doesn't mean you aren't committed to your career or that you can't handle both motherhood and working. It only means you are human.

3) Using childcare does not mean someone else is "raising your child." YOU are the mom. The one your kids will always turn to, the one who can make it all better with a kiss and a hug. And although your daycare provider/nanny/au pair should be like an extended member of the family, they are not you. You should choose the type of care that is the best fit for your family and always remember there is a big difference between leaving your child in a warm, loving environment where they are cared for, nourished and encouraged to thrive, and "neglecting and abandoning" them.

Have a one liner ready for when someone asks you (and they will) how you feel about letting someone else take care of/raise/parent your child. My favorite has always been "Oh yes, using daycare is horrible. Almost as bad as our second option which was leaving her in box on the side of the road."

4) Don't be ashamed to be someone's mommy. I am always struck by the huge number of people who separate their personal life and their professional life to the extreme. You walk into their office and they don't even have a single photograph of their child(ren) on their desk. I do think this is much more often true of male professionals, but even working women frequently do this. You have the right to be a proud mama, and by cutting off that part of your life you are denying a part of who you are.

Now I am not saying it is a good idea to discuss the color of your new baby's latest bowel movement in the middle of the department staff meeting, but there is no harm in hanging your child's latest artwork up above your desk, or keeping her latest school photo in a small frame next to your computer. Don't be worried that people will think it is unprofessional, or that you aren't focusing on your work. You family is as much a part of you as your latest grant, paper or experiment. Be proud of them, they will always be your family, you can't say that about your coworkers.

5) Sometimes motherhood sucks, and it is okay to admit that. Once you have a child you will meet moms who insist on telling you how they haven't ever been happier, that they never get mad, they have perfect children and that every minute spent with their child is pure heaven. The most grating line you will ever hear is: "I wouldn't trade a single minute." Yeah, right. If you can say that, you are a LIAR.

Every minute of motherhood is far from glamorous and it certianly isn't always sunshine and rainbows the way the Johnson and Johnson commercials would lead you to believe.. You will be drooled on, thrown up on, pooped on, bitten, and pinched. There will be days where you will be forced to listen to incessent whining, singing, screaming, crying or humming for hours on end. It is in those moments that you would trade motherhood for nothing more than a stiff drink. And that is okay.

You can love your child with your whole heart and still look forward to Monday morning when you get to drop them off at daycare, or date night when you ditch them with grandma so you and your husband can enjoy a night on the town that doesn't involve a lengthy discussion about Dora the Explorer or how many M&M's you get for going pee on the potty. You can lie in bed and beg your husband to please get up and rock the baby since you don't want to have to do it for one more minute. You don't have to think it is wonderful, since sometimes it isn't.

And don't waste your time lying to other moms yourself about how wonderful motherhood always is. You will find much more sympathy if you are willing to admit you barely have time to brush your teeth, let alone shave your legs, and that last's night dinner was composed of pop tarts and chicken nuggets. It is liberating to admit it, and once you are willing to tell the truth, you will be amazed by how many others will confess to being in the same boat.

So those are the 5 things I know now that I wish I knew then. The truth is you will discover your own five things as you grow as a parent, and I would encourage you to share what you learn with a new mom down the road. It is only by sharing and confiding in one another that we ever really realize what a great job we all are doing, even if we are doing things differently.

I also have some recommended reading for any science moms out there. These books are wonderful resources and I felt so much more confident in my role as a mom and in the laboratory after I read them:
Mama, Ph.D: Women Write About Motherhood and Academic Life by Elrena Evans and Caroline Grant
and
Motherhood: The elephant in the laboratory: Women Scientists Speak Out by Emily Monosson

Congrats ScienceGirl! Welcome to the Mommy-hood! Hold onto your hat, you are in for a wild ride!

31DBBB Day 10: Alerts (One third of the way there)

Today's task is a behind the scenes one where I am going to futz with my settings. Not really blog worthy, but I will do it.

Don't want you to think I'm slacking.

31DBBB Day9: Participate in a forum

Huh? What in the hell is he talking about? Specifically: Day 9 – Promote Your Blog by Finding a Forum to Participate In

That is a tall order. Especially since there aren't a lot of forums out there for quilting scientist mommy bloggers. Seriously. I looked.

So I'll have to split up into my niches.

1) Mommy blogger forums.
These are abundant. I picked 2 biggies. That was easy:




I set up profiles and added my blog to the blogroll on both of these sites. If you are a member over there, look for me: LabMom.

2) Science blogger forums
This is harder. I couldn't really find a networking group. (Not that I looked too hard) But I was very clever and on Blogher I set up a group called 'Science Bloggers' so if that is you (and you are XX) head on over there and join!

3) Quilting blogger forums
This is another easy one. There is one main quilting bloggers group:

I am also registered over there, you guessed it: LabMom.


Finally, although I wouldn't really call it a "forum" but rather a list of quilt blogs (860 at the time of this post):

I don't feel my blog is really a true quilt blog, so I didn't actually add it to the site, but I am including it here mainly so I don't forget about it!


Whew!

My sentiments exactly

Over at Mom-101, Liz has a new post that explains my feelings about WOH vs SAH almost perfectly. I wish I was even 10% as eloquent as her when I try to explain to other people why I make the choice I do when it comes to career and family.

I often find myself jealous of the other side, until I am over there. Damn greener grass!

Fun Stuff: Cookies!

While I was getting dinner ready yesterday, the princess was rolling and cutting out play-doh cookies and it was so freakin' cute that before I realized what I was saying I asked her "hey, do you want to make real cookie cutter cookies?'

Uh. Oh. Now I'm committed.

Fortunately I figured we could whip up some heart cookies and give them to her daycare teachers and save myself a couple bucks on real valentine's day gift. (Does that make me a cheapskate? )

This was the first time I worked with royal icing at a thin consistency. I have iced cakes before, but never using this kind of icing. It was a steep learning curve, that is for sure. And to make it more fun I also chose to use parchment triangles instead of piping bags and tips because the idea of washing those dumb little tips and couplers made my stomach turn. I don't know the trick to getting those nice fine consistent lines.

Okay, enough babbling. Bring on the finished products:

I only made a dozen or so. It pretty much stopped being fun after cookie 3 or 4.

But that is not all! As I searched through the cutters to find the hearts, I also stumbled upon some little mice cutters I had bought a while back years ago at (of all places) our local kitchen outlet store. I almost forgot I had them.

Now if you are regular reader of this blog you may be thinking that you have actually seen those mice cookies before. Why, yes, yes you have. But I don't want you to get your hopes up. I cannot compare to the artisan known as Ms. Humble. So instead of cookie beauty, I instead went for phenotypic accuracy.

I present to you..

The BALB/c mouse
(please note the albinism including pink eye and tail)

My entire colony

There are going with me to lab meeting this week. I will be sure to tell everyone to bite the heads off first, since decapitation is approved in our IACUC protocol.

31DBBB Day8: Interlink Your Old Blog Posts

See yesterday's post. (It contains 2 interlinks)

That was easy.

31DBBB Day7: LINK LINK LINK

Once again, I am ahead of the curve. Today's task was to write a post with the specific intention of linking to another blog of interest.

Well, check out Thursday's "bonus" post about GenomicRepairman. Not only was it linked, but it was quoted! Damn I'm good!

I'm going to call it an early night, all that crayon making wore me out!

Making Crayons (or How I spent my Superbowl Sunday)

The Princess seems to have accumulated THOUSANDS of crayons and a good portion of those are broken. So today, after getting sick of looking at them, I decided we would melt them down and make new mega crayons.

Now I only used what I had on hand, so this really wasn't the most efficient process, but it did use up a LOT of crayons, so I am pretty happy with the result.

First thing we did was gather up the crayons and lined a couple of pyrex bowls with tin foil. It would have been much easier to just use aluminum muffin tin liners, but I didn't have any on hand.

Next step: Peel all the crayons, break them into little pieces and sort them by color. This is the last step the Princess could really be involved. The rest was not 4 year old friendly. I collected all the bowls in a cake pan and placed it in the oven at 350 degrees.

It took longer than I thought it would, and the cheap freebie giveaway crayons we got from restaurants took a LOT longer than the nice Crayola ones, but eventually they all melted. Some of the how-to guides I read about making homemade crayons said to just leave them in the muffin tins (which I wasn't using) and make circles. I figured my wobbly foil lined dishes would make some ugly crayons so I didn't want to just let them cool.

I had also seen others recommend using plastic chocolate molds. But once again, I didn't have any chocolate molds, and although it would have been much nicer to have shapes that were actually fun for the Princess, I had to use what I had on hand. This was supposed to be an economical project. Spending $5 on a mold to save 36 cents worth of crayons seemed idiotic. So time to get creative. All I had was an Aluminum Christmas cookie mold (Angels, Toy Soliders and Hobby Horses. Sweet!) That is what we used.

I poured the hot wax into the molds and let it set at room temperature before placing the whole sha-bang in the freezer. The wax contracted and popped right out.. and VIOLA:

I think they came out darn cute if I do say so myself. And it only cost me one pair of jeans and a potholder (on which I dripped hot wax) and a couple of burnt fingertips.

The princess had to test them out of course, and they do in fact write on paper. (Phew!) And my favorite part: There are a lot less broken crayons floating around my house. Now we only have seven large ones. SCORE!

31DBBB Day 6: Six Lessons from Successful bloggers

If you are just joining me, I am now nearly one week into my quest for a better blog. I am following the ProBlogger 31 days to building a better blog (31DBBB) system. Today's task is all about looking at successful blogs (not necessarily in my niche) to see what I can learn.

ProBlogger took tips from 9 successful blogs and complied a big list of tips. However, I will confess I haven't heard of their 9 successful blogs, so I guess that shows you how the definition of "successful" is open to intrepetation.

This is a pretty passive task, so I guess I will just list what *I* took away from the lesson, since not everything really applies to me.

Six lessons I learned from "successful" blogs:

1. It's all about the content stupid.
You gotta write about what people want to read about, or write about what you love.. blogging is about content, so make it good. Write about what you know and stick to your niche.

2. Make sure you label your content well.
Proper use of tags and titles and indexing is essential if you want people to find what they are looking for (both on your blog and in search engines). If you have too many labels it is as if every post is unique, but not enough and you only end up looking like you write about 3 topics. Plus people reading posts in a reader need titles that cry out to be read.

3. Promote Promote Promote.
As learned in day 3 of 31DBBB, if you want to drive traffic to your blog, you need to constantly remind people you are actually blogging. This is a balancing act. You don't want to annoy and alienate people, but you also may actually have something to offer. For me, I am going to focus on promoting individual posts that I am most proud of, and that I think would be relevant to the people I am sharing it with. That is what I would want other people to do when promoting their blog to me.

4. Comments are important.
Commenting on other people's blogs as well as answering comments on my blog is important. This is the only time you can publicly interact with people on your site. When leaving comments they should be meaningful and relevant and when comments are posted here, they should be acknowledged.

5. The decision to use advertising on your blog is complicated.
I learned a lot about advertising and revenue generation. I'm not really interested in this at all, so I am not going to summarize the advertising tips. Long story short: it is a personal and complex decision.

6. Even with good content your blog has to be beautiful.
Too many buttons, badges, menus, gadgets and extraneous fonts/html code can actually drive traffic away from your site. People don't want to wade through all the mumbo-jumbo to get to the good content. This is the KISS principle.

That is what I learned from those other bloggers. It makes a lot of sense. I am trying hard to follow these suggestions. If anyone has any other tips they have learned from blogs that are really successful I would love to hear them.

31DBBB Day5: Focus on your current readers.

This is where I am supposed to be learning about how important it is to acknowledge people who comment on my blog.

I will confess to not being the best at replying to comments left here even though I really do appreciate them! So now is my chance:

Specifically I want to thank Andrea over at GoodGirlGoneRedneck and Rhaven at SuburbanRebelMom for the encouragement and all the comments. Andrea has been like a little cheerleader and I really appreciate it!

Also, thanks to everyone else who has commented (this is a short list, since there aren't that many.) Julie, GenomicRepairman, ScientificQuilter, Rhaven, Millie, Mrs.Humble, MamaSeeMamaDo, and she who shall remain nameless who comments via email!

Thanks everyone. I promise I will do my best to return the favor.

31DBBB Day4: Analyze a top blog in my niche

Ewww. This is a toughie. Mostly because I don't have a niche, nor do I really want to.

There are so many great blogs out there that I follow (I can't believe I am up to over 75 blogs currently in my reader that I check in on almost daily!) They are all wonderful, but they don't all fall into the same niche as mine.

I know that the actual idea behind this task is to choose popular blogs, but I don't want to shoot for popular. I want to love what I'm writing about, and not have to change what I write about in order to drive traffic. That isnt' my goal.

So instead I am going to look at 2 blogs in each category and see what I love about them, and what makes them "top blogs" in my mind.

My favorite Science Blogs:
Damn Good Technician: Love this blog since I am also a damn good technician. I also enjoy the candid day-to-day descriptions of what is going on in DGT's lab world. I am fascinated since I am an academic only tech (at least for now) but this post could draw me to the dark side. IDK, I feel like I have a kindred spirit out there with DGT.

ANaturalScientist: I guess this is about as close to my "niche" as anyone. She blogs both about parenting and science. I love her listmaking posts. I see why we were encouraged to do that (See 31DBBB Day2.) And she cloth diapers! That alone makes her mondo-cool!

My favorite Mommy Blogs:
Manic Mommies: Okay, I will confess to not digging the blog as much as I enjoy their podcasts. Erin and Kristin are so real, so funny and so relateable. I am so amazed by their willingness to share everything so openly about their family and work life. This isn't something I can ever emulate, since I do watch what I say when I blog about my career. However, if I can express my reality even half as well as them I will be doing great.

SlackerMomSays: GREAT blog. Her posts tend to be rather long, but she blogs about really topical issues and amazingly enough I almost always agree with her point of view. In a world filled with mommy wars, it is hard to find someone how has a nearly identical parenting style as yourself, and I have found SlackerMom to be my mommy facsimile.

Other crap I like:
ThePatcheryMenagerie: : I love how frequently she updates her blog. Daily if not more, with each step of the process documented. I find her inspiring since she is so productive and I feel almost personally involved with the quiltmaking process. (Although sitting on my sofa while she quilts isn't really much help I'm sure!)

TheShortestBlogintheWorld: She cracks me up! I love how she says so much with so little.

So, there you have it. Six blogs I should aim to model. I guess the one thing they all have in common is that they are all unique. They all are willing to open up and give me a little glimpse into their world, let me walk in there shoes for a fleeting moment in time.

That is why I like them.

That is what I inspire to be!

Best advice ever.

Do not run afoul of the lab manager, this person will be ordering your stuff, taking care of all the paperwork, and unlike a priest or lawyer is not obliged to keep confidential anything you say, especially if you occasionally bitch about the PI.

Taken from today's GenomicRepairman advice on Choosing a Lab (as a Grad Student).
Listen to him. He knows what he is talking about.

Trust me.

Another Biology Quilt: Swine Flu!

This wonderful quilt was posted on a guild site I recently joined.
When I saw the title I knew I just had to include it here!

H1N1 Quilt

I love the organic feel of it. It could be stepping stones, or water droplets.. but the fact it is inspired by a virus makes it that much better!

Thanks so much to Laura over at Periwinkle Art Quilts for letting me share it!

31DBBB Day3: Yuck! SPAM!

Yuck. This is a crappy task. I am supposed to promote my blog out in the far reaches of cyber space. That means one thing: SPAM.

I am posting one Tweet and that is all!

While I do appreciate people taking the time to stop by and peruse my blog, I am not going to be annoying about it. I personally don't care to drag people over here kicking and screaming. So, if you are stopping by for a visit. "Hi! Thanks for visiting!"

If you want to leave a comment.. knock yourself out. But I can appreciate the fact (since I am a busy mom) that you may not want to take the time. That is cool with me! And in return I promise: No SPAM!

31DBBB Day2: A List post

Well, it is 2:30 AM and I am just now getting to my homework.

Day 2: Write a list post.

I was pondering this assignment on my car ride home today and I had a great idea. But now, as I sit down to actually write it I realize it is just too late at night to tackle my chosen topic. (It is such a great topic I am going to save it for when I'm not sleep deprived so that I can do it justice.) Instead I will direct to you my previous post that could be considered a list post.

See, I am a very advanced student. We'll just say I'm skipping this grade!

My Elevator Pitch: What is this blog about?

So it begins. 31 days until I have a better blog!
Day One's task is to write an elevator pitch. The way I would explain my blog to to someone I just met while in an elevator. Short and sweet.

So here it goes:

Tag line: Where Motherhood meets Science, and the journey in between.

Expanded Pitch: My blog is about my life as a full time mother and laboratory scientist, trying to balance my family and my career. It focuses on how to be successful (and happy) in the lab while also maintaining a fullfilling home life. My posts feature topics that are interesting to me and relevant in my life, such as science, parenting, cooking, quilting, and humor. Mine is a crazy life, with many facets, and even if you can't relate to all of it you will definitely relate to some of it!

Well, that wasn't so bad. Hopefully it is smooth sailing like this for the last 30 days!